Below is a list of some of the stupidest things people have said to me since I got married. They have accumulated in a small room in my memory collecting dust. And I have finally found something to do with them and that is share them with you. I have a feeling this might be a reoccurring post since: a) I have so many of them and b) they keep on coming!
So without further ado, the stupidest things people have said to me either about marriage, kids or just random stupidness in no particular order:
- On a flight when my eldest was 3 months and crying the flight attendant kept asking me “would you mind keeping him quiet please? The other passengers are trying to rest” to which I replied “yes actually I do. I rather like the sound of screaming babies I find it soothing and it helps me relax and unwind. It kind of reminds me of the ocean you stupid twat” ok, I didn’t really say that but what I did do, the third time she came over, was hand her the baby and say ” you keep him quiet then”. She didn’t come back again. Now I am very much one of those people who cringe when I get on a flight and find lots of little babies but I would just like to say, no one likes their baby crying so give mom’s a break. But mothers who let their kids run around like little demons should be punished in any way you see fit.
- “Your son is really thin… The poor thing. Does he eat?” no actually, he’s funny like that! He doesn’t eat anything yet somehow he still has energy and still grows. It’s the straaaaangest thing! His father has always been thin! How funny that he’s like his father in that way! You’d think it was genetic!
- Said to me by another mother “Your son hugs a lot and is very affectionate. I think he might be deprived of affection…” she said… while staring at me… His mother… Stupid cow. He’s no longer allowed to hug her… ever. Who says stuff like that!
- Having 2 or 3 children is exactly like having 1. This is less something stupid then it is a flat-out lie.
- In a mall in America, my husband was carrying my son while I went into a store with the empty pram when some guy looked at me, then at the pram and said “Oh my God!!! where’s the baby????” I said “OH MY GOD I DONT KNOOOOOW” when his level of panic was reaching breaking point I finally told him he’s with his father outside the store… Seriously people.
- “Don’t joke with your husband about infidelity, he will think you’re ok with it” ummmmm yeah… Unless your husband has issues with what is real and what is not I think it’s pretty safe to joke with him about anything.
- S’s homeroom teacher when I asked her why he had a 3 out of 4 mark in art. “Because M, his class mate, draws better than S does”… It’s art… he’s 7… unless he sat on the floor, crossed his arms and refused flat out to do any work give him the full mark you idiot.