I failed miserably today at what I am supposed to be doing as a mother. I failed and it was due to many factors.
I was tired, I was stressed, there was very little time and too much homework. S is not supposed to have that much homework! That’s why he is at school from 7am till 3pm. This was not part of the deal.
To make things worse, we had a family gathering today, which was absolutely amazing. We sat outside, the kids played football. We took photos, we ate great food. But that meant we didn’t get home till past 5pm.
So, that meant we had one hour to do his Islamic studies homework, his Quran, and his maths worksheets. All went really well. We had the usual routine of J having a million important things to say to me that just couldn’t wait till after I finished helping S with his homework. And Baby B has a fever and was in a foul foul mood. But otherwise, all went well and he did all his work sheets on his own.
Until we got to the last worksheet page. It dealt with time.
The questions were like this:
If It takes Mrs.Jones 18 minuets to get to school, and she leaves her house at 7.05. What time will she arrive at school?
There was a flood on the way to school that make Mrs Jones 10 minute late. If she left her house at 7.45 what time would she arrive at school?
Oh my God. We both lost it. I would say:S, if it’s 8 now for example, and it would take you 10 minutes to be ready, then what time would you be ready?
S: ummmmmmmmm…. 3.
Then, like an idiot, I would say something like: 3!!! 3!!! How did you get three! What process did you follow to find 3.
So he would say: 7? and I would say something equally as ridiculous (actually worse cause I’m the adult) like: oh! So now we can go back in time?
I didn’t start out like this I swear! I got a pen and paper and tried to show him it by drawing out the time on a clock face. Then I got down the wall clock and used it to show him the time. Then I tried to do it by writing down the numbers and adding and subtracting the minutes. But he just couldn’t tell the difference between the minutes and the hours!
At one point this is the conversation we had.
Me: If it’s 8.03 and you are running ten minutes late. So you will get to school after 10 minutes. What time will you get to school?
S: 8.03 and 10 minutes… That means (under his breath) 8 9 10 11…
Me: S!!! If it’s 8.03 and you are late! 10 minutes late. What time will you get there? What should you do?
S: say sorry for being late?
Me: (Insert many stupid things a mother should be more mature than saying.)
I’m annoyed, at myself mostly because I am an idiot and I made him cry. And at the school more because this is not what I should be doing! They are the ones who should be teaching him! That’s why he spends more hours during the day with them then with me! 8 hours at school and about 4 hours maximum 5 with me before he sleeps. I’m not ok with this.
Before he slept we skipped story time for family time, I wanted to end the day on a good note not with him crying and me being a moron. J wasn’t interested and was just packing and unpacking the little box she keeps beside her bed with the “treasures” she’s taking to the new house.
I sat in the floor beside his bed, he was laying down looking at me and I said to him: at least now we know one thing For sure.
S: what Mama?
Me: That I can never be a teacher. I would be a terrible teacher.
S: you’re good at teaching some things. But the rest you are not…. Don’t be a teacher Mama.
Me: I promise,
dont blame your self,reading clocks are tricky at the begining,i remember i had trouble reading analog watches till i was may be 12..which is why i always used digital watches that shows the hours and minutes in numbers.
stuff happen,we are not expected to be at our best shapes all the time,kids need to learn that even adults make mistakes,and are still vulnerable even though we are grown ups.
take it easy,i know your kids are older than mine but whats coming is only gonna get harder.
True, the ironic thing is J has the mother of all meltdowns yesterday and I had one today! Her excuse is she’s 4 lol. I want to help my son with homework. So obviously, so I don’t make him hate school, or me, I have to fix this! Tomorrow we try again.
i must say mashAllah your kids are intelligent.
Thank you:) al7amdlilah they were born like that lol. Can’t take credit. If they get stupid then it’s defy otoh my fault lol
Hello dear, we all have our meltdowns, and it does not make u a failure as a parent… this is how we learn.. So don’t be so hard on yourself. We are all just learning, and if you’re anything like me, I am kind of wondering when the real mom is gonna show up… so I can be a kid again… only to realize YOU ARE IT!
I must say I agree with the whole homework thing. I find they give toooo much homework here, and I feel the kids are not learning ANYTHING while at school, and you are then forced to teach them everything yourself, or get a tutor to do it all. (not from personal experience with my kids as they are still young, but from my relatives).
Take care, and I am not saying this just to be nice.. but you really are a GREAT example of a mother, and I would only hope to be as good as you are when my kids are older enshallah.
Om Lujain you are so sweet. And I know exactly what you mean! Waiting for someone to come in and take over. And thank you for saying I’m a great example of a mother :) but keep in mind I pick and choose what you hear about hehehehe lol. But I am trying.
Time is a system unto itself. Where else do we count by 60’s? Sounds like it was a long day. I think his homework should only take about half an hour and just be a review.
Djd I completely agree. It should not consume the childrens day at all. That’s what school is there for. It was a long day for the both of us.
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