1. You will never be alone again ever except when you are too tired to care anyway.
2. Children sense when you need the bathroom. It is at that point that they spill something, fall or need to go to the bathroom desperately themselves. If you do get into the bathroom then the sound of the door closing is followed by “MAMAAAAAA”. The sound must trigger something primitive in children’s brains that reminds them of some ridiculously important thing they have to ask you NOW NOW NOW.
3. The door closing is also often followed by a child knocking (if you are lucky) or just walking in. Sometimes this is a group activity that all children participate in.
4. When thinking of going out to dinner you rate restaurants by how fast they can bring the food out. The faster the service the higher the restaurant ranks on your list of good family restaurants.
5. You learn how to tell your kids off quietly and with a smile so that when you are in public people are wondering why your child looks so bloody terrified of you when you are clearly just smiling at them.
6. Suddenly so many things your mother told you that sounded completely pointless make total sense! e.g. “You’re invited where? Who’s her mother?”.
7. You have one child and think you can never love another like you love this child. Then you have another and miraculously you find that you can love just as much but are sure that that is about as much love as you can give and you can never love a third the same as the first two. Then you have the third and so and so forth.
8. You discover you are capable of laying next to your child when they are sick and leaking fluids from every orifice and hold them tight despite how totally disgusting you know this all is. In fact, you know that at some point from birth onwards they will pee on you, sneeze on you and throw up on you. And it’s ok.
9. For a long while during their childhood you will be the most beautiful, the smartest and most resourceful to your child. These things of course do not necessarily have to even be remotely true, they will still believe nothing else of you.
10. Your child will learn everything from you. Not from what you say but from you and how you live your life and what you do. Your actions shape them in a way your words cannot. Things children will learn from your actions : Manners, work ethic, generosity, how to treat people, how to eat, how to be healthy, priorities. Live the life you want your children to live as they will watch and mimic all you do in some way or another.

What truths have you learned since becoming a parent?