Progress, Marbles and Travel

I thought I would give you a little update on B’s tantrums. We are, thank God, making progress. By totally ignoring the tantrum from the second it starts and leaving the room he is realising that it’s a bit of a waste of time and that it’s probably a good idea to stop shouting since it’s not doing anything.

We also ditched the sticker chart because every time he fills one up we take it down and start again. We started marble jars! So every time one of the kids does something that we thing deserves praise or recognition they get a marble. For the older kids it’s doing things the first time they are asked and for B it could be speaking nicely to everyone, or helping out, or drinking his shake in the morning which is always a battle.

photo have a strategy. He melts down we give him untill the count of three to calm down or we take over. Because making S and J late for school because he’s melting down is not ok and him not going to school, or going late, is not an option either.

So yes, most mornings he is carried shouting at us down the stairs to breakfast but is very quickly saying “please can I have some milk” and “good morning Camden!” leaving us all wandering is we imagined the scenario that unfolded only moments earlier. Tears in the morning at school are also much less frequent and it seems we’re getting on the right track. He said “Mamaaaa! you’re a silly sausage!” which is a sure sign he’s in a better mood.

Now I am worried because I have to travel to New York for around 10 days in a few weeks and I am seriously worried he will revert back to how he was. Someone suggested I take him with me but is that really fair on the rest of his siblings? It would be great though if I did. We have all the thermals from the ski trip so clothing wise I’m set. And I know the best places for children in NY from the time we were there with my mother while she was getting treatment. But do I really want to take him on a 14 hour flight, then bring him back on a 14 hour flight 10 days later than spend a week getting him over the jet lag? Not sure.

Also how do I justify it to the older 2? One thing someone pointed out is that they spent a lot of time with me and their father during the ski trip because obviously B couldn’t ski in the places we all could and went home mid day to nap. Therefor he can travel with me and spend some time with me.

Lastly who’s to say I am the magic answer to all his problems? what if I take him with me and he has constant meltdowns because he’s not with his siblings or at school and with his friends? God knows. I think this calls for an Istikhara (a prayer for guidance muslims do when they are faced with a decision and are unsure or what to do. Extremely helpful!)

Open to advice!



  1. That’s a tough one, Mama B. I know you put your children first but you also need to take time out for you too. My suggestion is to keep him on his regular schedule and in his familiar environment but also have regular sessions with him via Skype.

    • You’re probably right. It may be more for y guilt to take him with me then for his own good. I still feel bad. Will think about it more. Thank you xoxo

  2. We are doing the sticker thingy, she is so into it :) Will keep in mind the marbles for the future.

    As for B, I would not take him, it’s too stressful and just by taking him there he might revert because of the stress. Keep him in familiar environment.

    • Yes I think that’s what I’m going to end up doing. Just the thought of the 14 hour flight is making me not so enthusiastic as I was when I first heard the idea lol. Not to mention I just looked at the ticket prices lol.

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