Day 8

Tight space better than a high airway

We started self-isolating last Saturday night. I have to admit something…

I love it.

Anyone who knows me will probably get this because staying home and having loads of free time is heaven to me. The weather helps as well because I can count the outside area as another space to sit in. And I am blessed to have a house big enough for us all to be able to have somewhere to go if we want some alone time.

I don’t know how it has been for you, but I noticed that over the last week I have been shifting from one mood to the next slowly.

I started out Saturday night deciding I’m going to stay home and wondering if anyone else is doing the same. Wondering if people would think I am overreacting or being paranoid. It was clear in the following days tho that the majority of people I know also decided the same. Better safe than sorry.

I then went into informational overload mode. I had my nose stuck in my phone most of the day and was continuously updating the coronavirus count page. I was anxious and unsure of how to prepare for the next few weeks.

This anxiety continued to grow. I did spend all day with the kids practically, and we didn’t spend it watching the news, but then they would sleep, and I would be up till 3,4 and once 5 am researching, watching the news and updating the numbers.

The 5am night, I decided I wanted to compare where we are now to where Italy was this far into the outbreak. And compare what precautions were taken in both our countries. I feel I can relax once I have all the information. If the information I end up with is relaxing. 

For example, I decided to research the validity of staying away from taking out food because the virus can last on the food containers. The results did not relax me. So, tonight we’re having a bbq instead of ordering out.

Of course, this anxiety would all flood out of me after a day of teaching my kids their lessons. Playing games with them. Watching some old movie or series or baking some awful version of a recipe we found online. So, during the day I am functioning, and all is seemingly calm.

Here’s the strange thing, pre isolation I would spend less time with the kids and have much less patience for them. Post isolation we are around each other practically all day, and I have bags of patience! (In comparison to what I had before). Has anyone else found this?

I think it is because I have removed the stress of appointments, meetings, work obligations, traffic, and the typical day to day routine that pushes you from one hour to the next. Whatever patience I lost there I have now to use with my kids.

And they seem so much calmer too without having to go out. I always used to seem to be doing things with my children in between the other things I have to do. And I sometimes treated my time with them as things I HAD to do too.

This way of life, the slower pace, the more relaxed rules, this is what is new to us. Before I used to jump in the pool with them for 45 minutes now, I am the last to get out. When they would come and ask to play something before it would all depend on what I was doing if I had to reply to an email or be on a call or work on something. Now we just play.

Yesterday and today I feel the pendulum has slowed and hopefully is swinging closer to calm than anxiety. God knows if it will stay here. I’m going to do my best to keep it as close to here as possible by limiting my phone use and information seeking, writing, reading and playing. Maybe I’ll even have a nap!

How has your week been? How have your kids been coping? How have you been coping? 

One comment

  1. I really appreciate your description of how you are doing and how you spend your time. I can identify with the change of pace. It’s been very peaceful for the last few days but I started off watching the news continuously.

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