In a couple of days, I’m taking three of my boys—aged 15, 12, and 7—to Sri Lanka. On my own.

And because TikTok can apparently read my mind, I came across a video today of a white man saying, “Don’t go to Sri Lanka!” stitched with a Sri Lankan woman responding, “I wish someone had said that to your ancestors…”

I very nearly clicked on the link below that video, that would have sent me spiraling down the “Why you shouldn’t go to Sri Lanka” rabbit hole. Thankfully, I resisted.

I am both excited and nervous about this trip. But for some reason, I don’t want to admit my nervousness—because I chose this. Am I allowed to freak out if I voluntarily signed up for this chaos? Do you ever suppress your doubts and fears so your children don’t “catch” those feelings? And do you do it successfully?

I’m trying.

But between you and me? I’m nervous.

Why Sri Lanka?

Let me take you through my thought process when I planned this trip. It was deep. It was also very, very short.

In 2016, I took my two eldest kids to India for a week—just me and them. It was an incredible experience for all three of us. I loved giving them the chance to see something completely new, and I was so impressed by how responsible they were and how open they were to trying new things.

So naturally, I decided to recreate the magic and take the boys on a similar trip.

When I told Johara about my plan, she very wisely pointed out that it wouldn’t work with these three. She’s right.

The India trip worked because:

1. The kids were different ages. Saud was 13—not 15, like Abdullah. Johara was 10—not 7, like Bader.

2. The dynamic was different. Two girls and one boy = less chaos. Three boys and one mother? A whole different dynamic.

3. They needed less from me. When I wanted downtime, they entertained themselves—swimming, playing, or just hanging out together. I read a book. It was peaceful.

4. They complained a lot less. First-born children’s curse? They just accepted things. These lot? They have opinions.

So, I adjusted the plan. This time, I needed a destination that wasn’t focused on historical sites, still had a lot of culture, and had plenty of adventure to keep us all happy.

Naturally, I turned to ChatGPT.

Sri Lanka seemed like the best option—especially since I knew people who had taken their kids and loved it. It seems like it has the perfect combination of new and beautiful landscape and culture as well as having the added adventure or Safari, hikes and beaches. It’s been on my list of places I want to visit so why not now!

Between making the decision and booking the trip? Five days.

What I’m Worried About

Let’s see…

• Being the sole adult responsible for every decision in a country I’ve never been to. Yes, every minute is planned, and we have support from the travel agency, but still—it’s comforting to have another adult to share the mental load.

• Being the only source of entertainment for my 7-year-old. Enough said.

• The pressure to make this a trip they’ll remember and enjoy.

But, in some ways, this trip might actually be easier than India.

For one, I’m not pregnant. I had morning sickness almost the entire time on that trip, and I was exhausted.

Also, I’m more chill now. Right?

The Trust Factor

Here’s what’s really getting me, my kids trust me.

They trust my choices, my plans, my opinions. As they should. But that means they are completely relying on the correctness of my decision to take them to Sri Lanka.

No pressure.

The Plan (Or Lack Thereof)

I know the best-laid plans never go as planned (what is the rest of that saying?).

So my strategy is simple:

• Go with the flow.

• Embrace the chaos.

• Focus on the fun.

Normally, before a trip, I run through every possible worst-case scenario. I imagine problems, then come up with solutions before they even happen. But as someone recently told me:

“If you walk around carrying a gun, God will bring you a fight.”

So, I’m laying my guns down.

Let’s see how this goes.