I honestly think that if you’re going on vacation with kids and it’s not a baby proof, padded kids oriented resort (I don’t meant Disney, I mean a place your kids can run around without you watching them like a hawk) then take a nanny with you. Even if you have to compromise (less time away, less shopping, less food even) take a nanny with you! Otherwise it can no longer be categorised as a vacation, it’s your everyday, boring life but at another location.

We’re off soon. And the feeling of dread that starts in the pit of my stomach has started right on time. I always appreciate punctuality. It’s a 16 hour flight that starts at 8 am, which guarantees that my kids will not sleep one wink since they never have on night flights (not even the 14 hour flight from NY to Riyadh) so why would they on a day flight? I have just decided to accept that the flight will be hell. At least there is a very good chance of Baby B sleeping (YA RAB!).

When I am flying alone I have zero patience for mothers and their children. So I completely sympathize with all the people who will look at me with resentment and loathing when I walk in there with 3 kids under 9. I have threatened them with various punishments if they act up on the plane but we also all know that never works.

The last flight I was on from NY to Riyadh there were two other mothers each with one child. The first child came up and said “Hi, my name is Noor” and J said: “Thats a funny name for a boy!” and I said “J shhh! that’s a girl” and she goes: “No mama, it’s a boy. Look at him” anyway, the conversation went on like this till I finally convinced her Noor was a girl. She had shoulder length hair, and ok she was dressed a little tomboyish but her name was Noor!

Anyway, turns out Noor was, in fact, a boy. I just left J very confused and Noor upset. But not upset enough to go sit with his mother, who by this time reclined her seat, rolled over and went to sleep! Then there was a little boy called Faisal. Faisal started calling me aunty and wouldn’t go sit in his seat. He decided I was his adoptive mother and it seems his mother made the same decision as she reclined her seat, rolled over and slept!!

14 damn hours of this!! I kept sending them back to their mothers and their mothers kept sending them to me! In hind sight I should have sent my kids to them, reclined my seat, rolled over and gone to sleep. Anyway, I ended up telling Faisal off and threatening all imagined forms of punishment if he comes back to our seats again. That’s it!  Noor, the poor boy, was scared off a few hours into the flight.

At hour 13 they fell asleep! I then woke them up because there was no way I was going to carry three kids off the plane! I looked at S and said: “Wake up now!” and his face went all circle shaped, as it does, and he stared at me. So I felt bad and said “Are you very sleepy?” and he said “I am a little sleepy mama, but if you don’t want me to sleep I wont”. I let him sleep the last 30 minutes of the flight. J, on the other hand, completely ignored me and slept till after we landed. A cousin of mine offered to carry her off the plane for me which I very happily accepted.

She woke up in the airport in his arms and screamed bloody murder the rest of the way home.

So yes… I am excited about LA but I hate hate hate hate hate traveling with kids!