I want to be a better person. I am a ‘good’ person in the sense that I don’t intentionally hurt people or commit crimes. I am a ‘good’ mother in the sense I always have my children’s best interest at heart. I’m a ‘good’ daughter in the sense that I spend time with my parents and am there for them when they need me. But I feel like I am settling for the average good. Little note, I am not speaking of the ‘mother teresa, give up worldly goods and devote my life to helping others’ good.
I have the ‘good’ covered when it comes to all the big things in life but not the small things which effect the people around me more in reality. My children, I am sure, will be grateful that I am not a criminal but that won’t change their daily lives to the better will it? If I am a nicer person, more relaxed person, more engaged person for example that would have an effect I am sure.
So below are my rules to make my ‘Good’ self ‘Better’:
1) Always put down what I’m doing and greet my family properly when I see them. I used to be better at this but more and more I mumble a hello from behind the glow of some screen.
2) Not talk behind people’s backs. No, I don’t spread gossip about people or say particularly horrible things but even the small comments really aren’t o.k. (no matter how warranted they are). I think I need to make a distinction between pure opinion and discussion. I want to stick to the rule that if I can’t say it to their face I shouldn’t say it at all. Think of that yourself and you’ll see it’s really not that easy.
3) Be patient with people who’s jobs suck even if they are not the cheeriest people. So for example when the woman sitting in the lady’s bathroom somewhere, spending her working day cleaning after you, is less than polite then so be it. She’s been sitting in a toilet all day. I will try to practice this on rude waiters and rude flight attendants but I don’t promise anything.
4) I will hold myself up to the standards I hold my children to. Mostly because I am tired of J telling me what I am doing wrong when I forget a ‘thank you’ or God forbid put my elbow on the table. Practice what I preach basically.
5) When someone needs help and I can offer it I should offer it. Yes I may not always feel like doing what ever it is they need me to do but if they really need me to do it and it won’t effect my life by putting my priorities on hold (children, family) then I should do it.
6) Spend more one on one time with my children. I don’t think this is actually possible to do equally all the time with 4 kids and therefore I don’t even try to do it at all. Life is not equal or fair I guess and I have to do my best knowing I won’t always be able to be fair with it. i guess the trick is making sure that in the grand scheme all are getting the same but knowing that day to day it won’t work out that way.
7) At my grandmothers house there was a big piece of furniture which wasn’t centred. I mentioned it to my aunt as we were passing. I said how annoying it was and that I would ask someone to come and help me move it ‘later’ ( a)because it was too heavy to move on my own. b) because we were passing by quickly heading somewhere else ). She stopped and walked back to it and motioned for me to get the other side and we moved it together. Then she said “Never wait for people to fix something you can fix yourself. It will get done faster if you just do it and most of the time they won’t even notice you did it”. So I will be more proactive. And if something needs to get done I will do it NOW not come back to it later.
8) Get fit. This does fall under the ‘good’ category because I am being good to my body by doing it and good to my children by hopefully giving myself a better chance at living a longer healthier life. This also falls under point number 4.
9) Not do any work between the time the children get home from school until they sleep. sometimes this is as little as 3.5 hours! I means seriously what ever it is can wait! And if it can’t I had all day to do it already.
10) Sadly, this may be the most difficult for me, I will be less addicted to my electronics. Not check my blackberry or ipad every minute when I am with my children, family or any company for that matter. Eventually people will realise that if they need me urgently they can call me on my house line. This is terribly and embarrassingly, difficult for me! I mean I don’t let my children use electronics during the week. I refused to get my 9 year old a phone and all because of exactly what it’s doing to me! Now it’s time to kick this habit of having to constantly be ‘connected’. How? By limiting and timing my online time. I’ll start with this: when I’m home with my family I won’t use my mobiles. Also, when I’m out with friends for dinner I will leave them in my bag. In fact if I can leave them in my bag when ever I am out and only pick them up when they are ringing I will be golden. This of course will start once I am home with my mini tribe because right now if I am not getting pictures of my children on these devices I am looking at pictures of them so I am allowed to be obsessive while I’m away.
What are your rules to make yourself better?