Double Digits, All Star Breakfasts and New Friends!

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Last week my first-born child turned 10! Double digits people! It’s a big deal! 10 years ago I was 10 years younger and 20 years stupider and totally head over heals with the tiny little bundle of a baby that miraculously appeared (after 48 hours of labour and help from a vaccumy thing). I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or how I was going to continue doing it but 10 years later I think we did well.

S is lovely, charming, healthy, doing relatively well at school (he is a 10-year-old boy and he is a talker). He is constantly negotiating with me, coming up with different solutions to get what he wants but yet respecting the rules and boundaries that we set for him. Not all the time though, he would be weird if he did it all the time. But enough for me to happily give him more responsibilities and freedoms in his life.

His goal is freedom. This is what he works for. He loves going to his friend’s house without a nanny. I give him a mobile when he goes and he calls me from it to tell me exactly what he’s doing and loves being able to do that. I know once he has one of his own the novelty will wear off but for now he is very responsible with it. Anytime he can do something without adults he is thrilled.

When we were in Dubai I was having a girls morning with J and my husband was busy during the day but we decided to meet for lunch. S was at the hotel pool with B and K and their nanny so I called them up and gave S the task of going up to the room, showering and changing then coming to meet us at the restaurant (which was in the mall that was connected to the hotel we were staying in) on his own. He was given a mobile phone and set off on his mission. Their nanny kept saying “are you sure?” Yes I’m sure! He’s 10, we’re in Dubai and it would take him all of 10 minutes to walk to where we are. Plus he has a mobile phone. Plus, again,he’s 10!

S rushed upstairs, jumped in the shower and as he was getting dressed in super speed because of the excitement of his upcoming adventure; his father walked into the room. He was gutted! He was so excited to go on his own and was really disappointed his father showed up and was obviously going to walk with him. After I explained to my husband the situation on the phone we hung up and 15 minutes later my husband walks into the restaurant (which is no longer in the mall but about a 5 minute walk from the mall to another mall) on his own.

Then my phone starts to ring. ‘Whats the name of the restaurant mama?’ ‘which direction when I get into the mall?’ ‘is it on the first or second floor’ etc.

I was sure to tell him he had to actually leave the mall and go to another mall but that somehow got missed by my over excited boy and when he finally figured out we were not in fact in the mall he was in it was already 20 minutes later and he was on the opposite side to where we were. And this was a massive mall. Another 20 minutes later he walked into the restaurant all triumphant and proud that he finally found his way. True a 15 minute walk took him 40 minutes but he did it on his own and was over the moon. By the time he walked in the whole restaurant knew we were waiting for him and cheered for him.

 

On Wednesday S and J slept in my room and then spent the following nights trying to convince me to let them sleep there again. (Yes I am aware I jumped from one thing to another but I am too tired to come up with a good linking passage to sandwich in between the previous passage and this one. Watch out it’s going to happen again later in the post) Then they ignored my saying no and started dividing out the nights each of them would sleep with me in my room without even asking my opinion! I am so totally blessed that they like to be with me.

Even on days like today when my mood is stupidly immature and my temper is stupidly short they still want to spend time with me! I admit to them that I am in a bad mood and that I am not the greatest person to be around and yet they still stick around!! يا رب لك الحمد (Thank God). I am living in fear of the day I have to chase them down to sit with me. I know its coming eventually but now I am happy and basking in the joy of their company.

I haven’t mentioned B in this because he is 3 and 3 year olds will almost always choose their Mama’s over anyone else. Special K is now a 1-year-old and has always chosen the closest person to the floor to go to then proceeds to throw himself off that person to get to the floor (his first and only goal).

 

The biggest event this weekend (Second jump) was the “all star” breakfast I had with my fellow Saudi Mama (and soon to be mama) bloggers. Let’s see, we had M.R. from Under The Abaya, Nicole from The Same Rainbows End, Um Lujain from Lost In Riyadh and finally Layla from Blue Abaya. It was surreal let me tell you.

I brought J with me. She was not at all sure about the whole thing and didn’t understand why I would want to meet people I had never met before. She has not inherited my need for socializing with new people. I have an inability not to meet people and talk to them and tell them my life story and listen to theirs.

I also have an inability to not fill silence with words. If there is ever a lull in conversation I have a compulsion to fill it with anything that comes into my mind. This has caused me to say many stupid things in the past but I have come to terms with the fact that it is out of my control. Not surprisingly I guess since I tell a lot of my life story here! It’s a little frustrating that it’s sometimes very one-sided so to actually meet people who have read my stories and who’s stories I have read was so much fun!

I arrived and looked for a large table with a mother and daughter as I knew the first one there was M.R and her beautiful little girl. I spotted them and walked over, unsure of exactly how to introduce myself. Ya mama? Mama B? what? I think I ended up saying my name and mumbling “Ya Mama” after it. In hind sight this was a stupid thing to say as I was the only person new to this group so obviously that’s who I am.

Soon all the other lovely ladies and their gorgeous off spring arrived and we had a ridiculously yummy breakfast. But yet it was so insanely weird. I felt I was sitting with people whose diaries I had read before meeting them. I kept wanting to ask each one of them about specific entries in their blogs or aspect of their lives but I couldn’t cause I felt nosey! Like they would look at me and think ‘yeah I don’t know you so why are you asking me these questions’. Obviously I know they won’t think that because had they not wanted me (and others since the world doesn’t revolve around me) these parts of their lives they wouldn’t have written about them.

I kept the conversation polite and slightly superficial but I look forward to seeing them again and getting to know them better hopefully. Since we had our children with us it wasn’t exactly a relaxed breakfast but it was so enjoyable. The ladies were lovely and their children adorable. I am officially in love with Layla’s baby and he is in love with me as every time he laid eyes on me he gave me the best smile in the world. So this is me officially offering to baby sit him anytime you like Layla.

Oh that also goes for your unborn child Nicole as I adore new-born children.

This all sounds a little stalkerish but I am hoping since you all met me and sat with me for a relatively decent amount of time you know that I am not a stalker.

And there is no better way to end my post than with a declaration like that! I am off to bed!

 

Trip (And Fall)

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So the post before last wasn’t well received by my travel mates. In fact it ignited a wave of hilarity about my current state of mind. Or laughing at my current state of mind to be precise which is why I love who I am here with.

I’m missing my kiddie pies. I really need to organise my working life to stop when the older kids get home from school. B gets home and goes right to sleep and when he wakes S and J are home. Special K is always around and on top and underneath and everywhere all the time. He turned one last month, my little munchkin. He has decided he doesn’t want to walk and I don’t blame him since he is, quite honestly, amazing at crawling and very very speedy. The only issue is when he does want to go fast he puts his head down and takes off, constantly testing my speed and agility to see if I can catch him before he rams into the wall. Fun fun fun.

I’m working on some posts with more substance I promise.

It’s been so lovely here! Although everyone was surprised at how not at peace with nature I am. I would prefer a fully sealed room to the more natural bungalows we are in. I would choose a clean, chlorinated pool to the sea. I mean seriously people, it’s totally not our territory and if something attacks us we’re screwed and we asked for it. I like hearing the birds over breakfast but I would prefer it be from behind a glass window in an air conditioned room. You get the point. So yes, I was always thought of as the ‘hippie’ one and I am as far as the hair and clothing go (long skirts, long hair, flowery dresses etc) Thats about it.

We spent a good portion of our trip (and fall) laughing and we plan to spend the rest in giggles thoroughly annoying the couples all around us who expected to have a romantic quiet time!
Here is the weirdest bit; There are a lot of families here. Loads of children varying in age from 5 days to 5 years. And none of them make a sound! I am serious! They are so quiet it eerie. In fact the adults are quiet too. We suspect they put something in their food or something. Why they skipped giving us the secret quite potion is beyond us though. But if they sold some I would totally buy it.

We wanted to eat on one of the resort restaurants for dinner and they made such a hoopla about finding us a table because we didn’t book in advance. We headed to the restaurant in groups and when I arrived with the first group, we walked into the reception area and it was dead quiet. Then they walked us out on the terrace where it was also dead quiet and I thought why have they told us it’s fully booked when there’s no one here! ThenI looked out onto the terrace and every table was full of couples sitting there… in total silence! Literally not a word out of them! Not even a whisper. The second group arrived and walked out onto the terrace. One of them said “HI!” and the rest of us all responded with a “SHHHHHHHHH”. We thought maybe there was an unwritten rule saying we had to be quiet! Theres something in the water I tell you.

But reardless of the quiet daze everyone else was in we were loud and happy and laughing and we even had sparklers and a bunch of pictures where we nearly set my sisters hair on fire trying to light these sparklers above her head.

We are down to the last couple of hours before we head home now. I wouldn’t ask for more time here but I would ask to do this a few times a year! 2 nights away somewhere with your closest friends and family where your only choices are swim in the sea or swim in the pool. What more do you need.

A Post I Found From Last Month! Seriously Have To Get My Stuff Together!

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My little girl turned 7 yesterday. And for some reason I am insanely emotional about it! Before yesterday night we sat on the carpet in her room before bed time and had a little ‘my baby’s growing up’ talk. I of course got all choked up but no way in hell was I going to show J because she would have looked at me as if I was insane I assure you. S would have totally sympathized and probably shed a tear or two himself.

J has always had the reputation of being a tough girl. But out of all my children she is, by far, the most considerate and caring. She always thinks of everyone else before herself. Having said that she will always make sure she has an equal share. I truly admire her.

It’s funny I always imagined I would have a lot of girls. Probably because a lot of girls is what I know and what I grew up with. But God gave me one girl and I was so unsure of how only one girl on her own would be. I still am unsure. It’s foreign to me. I grew up sharing a room with my sisters till I was 15. We borrowed clothes from each other. Fought like mad. Hated going out with each other. Told secrets to each other. Protected each other. And I always imagined only sisters could do that.

Honestly I also had an alterior motive to wanting girls. I felt like they would be the ones who stayed close to me even after they have gotten married and had children. They would make sure their kids would visit Mama B. They would make time in their days for me. Why I have this idea that girls will and boys won’t is beyond me because my brother spends just as much (if not more) time, one on one, with my mother as we do.

My husband also thinks this logic is flawed because he comes from a family of mostly boys who see their parents on almost a daily basis even if it’s only for 5 minutes. He never understood the concern I have and frankly neither do I after writing this all down. I just relaxed that subconsciously I am expecting less of the boys than I am of my daughter. Why? Is it because they are ‘men’ and ‘men’ can do what they want (I am mortified by this though but there is a high possibility this is where it came from!).

Why shouldn’t my sons spend time with me and take care of me when I am old? Why am I not expecting the same? My husband certainly is! It’s time for a change in my subconscious so 123 here we go I am expecting just as much from S B and K and I am of J. In fact I will expect nothing of her and everything of them! Sha6a7t? Bit much? Ok will expect the same.

Do you expect less of your sons when it comes to family obligations?

Some Time Away

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Last night I told my children that I was off for a small trip for 2 nights this weekend. J protested and asked how come and why she couldn’t come. I explained that its a grown up trip and she wouldn’t enjoy it anyway. B, who is 3 i might ad, said “its your day off?: God love this child. I said “EXACTLY!, its mama’s day off!” he then said “do mamas get days off?” well this mama does and is very grateful for it.
I have been under an especially unusual amount of pressure and stress lately and have not been able to deal with it properly so it’s manifesting in uncontrollable crying at soppy adverts or songs, hair loss, psoriasis and tummy aches. So I am hoping this day and a half away will be the right medicine to help me get back in control of my crazy because I have things to do that the crazy is interfering with.
Life isn’t always what we think it would be or should be. But sometimes it veers so far off the path you planned for that you have to face the fact that you may end up somewhere you neither wanted to be or planned to be in. So do you take the reins and force the horse, wagon and everyone else on it to go back to where you think you should be? Or do you continue down this path and deal with the consequences of who or what will still be with you at the end of the road?
Right now I am tired of fighting and tired of thinking. My path is taking me to the sea side and all I have to decide now is do I sunbath or have a massage? All mama’s should have days off.

Aaaaaaand we’re back.

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Well, after a three and a half hour car drive we are back in Riyadh. The first hour of the ride was spent with me sleeping and the kids watching their Ipads. The second hour was spent with me reading twitter, playing 4pics1word (if that’s the correct name for it). The next 30 mins was spent forcing my kids to read and the last hour was spent getting over the drama the 30 minutes of reading produced and handing out punishments for the reactions to this 30 minutes of reading. It was also spent iPad free till they wore me out the last 10 minutes before we got home. I figure they don’t have it during the week so they can detox till Wednesday.

I had S and J in my room last night for a sleep over. And we all slept quite well! I woke around 7 am and spent a ridiculous amount of time after that trying to wake them! At one point I tried to coax S out of bed with promises of pancakes and french toast. J said “sleeping is better” and S grunted an agreement. Anyway as a punishment to him I took pictured of him sleeping with bed head and all and posted them on instagram.

Sometime in the middle of all the ‘trying to wake them’ up B ran in and was trying to help me. We gave up and I told him to run and get dressed and I’ll get dressed and we can go get french toast and pancakes at the restaurant. Once S and J realised that we would in fact leave them behind, they got out of bed.

I can’t blame them for being so tired though. We got into bed at a decent (ish) hour and I promised them we would watch a bit of TV before we slept. They stared at me as if I was turning orange and growing wings because we don’t do TV before bedtime ever but that’s what rules are made for, to be broken and have your kids look at you like you are the coolest being that has ever walked the earth.

I switched the TV on and the first thing on it was the movie Annie. J had never seen it but S says he has although I can’t remember him ever watching it. Anyway they both got into it. We tuned in just as Annie was meeting Mr. Warbucks. I love this movie! If you overlook the ridiculousness of Annies character and how annoyingly good she was this is one of my favourite movies when I was a child.

About 10 minutes into the movie (which was showing on MBC 3) I realised that there were bits missing. It was censored. At first I though why the hell would the censor Annie! There were a lot of the songs that were missing completely and some they only showed part of. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. But as some scenes started I found myself tensing up not wanting to have to explain what was happening in them to my kids and was happy for the save of the censors.

For example, how drunk miss Haneggan was all the time! There was no way to censor that all of her drunckeness or there wouldn’t be a Miss Haneggan because she was always dunk! But they tried. The other bit that I was happy to skip was when Mr. Warbucks went to the orphanage to adopt Annie and Miss Haneggan was flirting with him for want of a better word:

I mean really “must you upset me, why don’t you pet me?”. And the garters are a little much.

Another part is when her brother Rooster and his girlfriend show up at the orphanage and are looking for Annies locket so they can pretend to be her parents and claim the reward money. I distinctly remember the part when rooster finds the locket and they do the dance and his girl friend is laying on the table and he is above her holding the locket. You know when they start singing “easy street”? Hold on… this is it:

So ok this part is not as bad as I remember it but it must have seemed bad to me when I was a child. Honestly, maybe I’m a bit of a prude but the blond woman’s dress it too low cut and the dancing is raunchy.

Then we get to the ending which is truly terrifying. I am not sure if you rememeber it (I am looking for a clip) but after Annie tears up the check Rooster swears he will kill her and Miss Haneggan is truly terrified he actually will kill her and runs after him to stop him. Rooster ends up hitting Miss Haneggan to get her to back off and she falls unconscious to the floor. A bit much no?

The part where Annie is holding on for dear life at the top or a very high bridge is thrilling. It is really scary but I loved that when I was a child.

Having said all that I would probably let my kids watch the whole thing uncensored as it’s quite a shame they didn’t get to see the full songs but I would watch it with them to answer any questions. I mean I never realised one of the characters in Grease* thought she was pregnant and I watched that movies religiously for years while I was growing up.

On the list of movies I watched as a child that I want my children to see are:

The Little Princess (1939 with Sherley Temple)

Babes in Toyland (1961 original movie, never saw the one with Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves. Any good?)

The Dancing Princesses (From Fairy Tale Theatre 1987)

*corrected original post where I got the story wrong lol.

So what do you think of Annie being a bit too raunchy and violent? Are there any other movies you re-watched as an adult and saw in a different light? Does it really matter if we do, as adults, see them this way since most probably it’s totally going over the children’s heads? I do believe children should watch age appropriate material because their brains are not mature enough to understand and process too much violence or adult material but we need not go overboard I think .

 

 

 

 

Yes, Sorry, I’m Back.

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yes I know. Once again I got gobbled up by my little world and forgot about this one. Actually thats not fair. I didn’t forget about this one. In fact I have been thinking of it a lot with a mix of emotions ranging from longing to guilt to annoyance to excitement.
So let’s recap the events of the last month:
It was National Down Syndrome day and Saut society had fantastic celebrations in Riyadh, Jeddah and the eastern province. There was such a huge surge of voluteers it was over whelming and really touching. The kids loved it and we were able to spread awareness. The amount of people who still think that people born with Down Syndrome have a short life span was really shocking to me! That used to be the case years ago but with the advancement of healthcare they live long healthy lives.
It was Mother’s Day as well. The Arab Mother’s Day falls on the same day as National Down Syndrome day so there was a lot to celebrate. The kids had a concert at their school the week before and it was so sweet to watch.
My family and I are still mourning my grandmother. It seems like we are going through days with a choked up feeling all the time. I know it gets better and life goes on and inshallah we all have faith and know this is the way it goes and will go for all of us but we miss her.
I think my grandmothers death lead J to this conversation with her nanny yesterday:
J: I’m worried about when mama dies.
Nanny: Sweetheart mummy’s not going to die for a very long time.
J: but what if she does and i have no one to ask how to do things?
Nanny: What sort of things?
J: Like how will I find a husband and how will I know how to treat him?
Nanny: I think that’s a long time yet J and we will make sure you have a lovely husband!
J: Ok what about when I go to college? Who will tell me about that? Will they be strict?
Nanny: No J, I think you will love college.
J: Does it snow at college?
Nanny: No not always.
How random is my child! I was torn between laughing and crying honestly. This isn’t the first time she asks about who will teach her things if I die. No my child is not anxious at all… not at all. I do love that she knows she’s going to learn these things from me God willing.
We had J’s birthday party in this past month. A swimming party. Yes I hear you gasp and say “what a stupid idea to have a bunch of kids over to swim!” if you realise how many kids were invited that is. We bought 50 giveaways and they were all gone at the end of the night. I know some people doubled up but there were definitely more than 35 children.
I was praying for an uneventful party, boring even. I didn’t get my wish.
Last year I had a joint birthday party for my son who was turning 9 and my daughter who was turning 6. This party was at a bowling alley with a paintball arena right beside it. In theory it would have been perfect. Bowling and arts and crafts and even paintball for older kids. I made sure that the paintball was suitable for their age range. How? By asking the manager and getting someone else to double check and asking them if the rifles would shoot softly or not. And I told them on many different occasions the ages of the children. Long story short within the first 10 seconds boys were running out crying with big bruises on their arms. I wanted to die. And I wanted to kill the people in charge there as well. I was mortified. The kids would be fine I knew that but I put myself in the place of the mothers who have sent their kids to my party only to have them return to them with huge welts on their arms. It didn’t look good.
That was the story of the last party. I was hoping this one wouldn’t have a story. But it had two. I made sure to specify on the card that it was a swimming party and that children who were not confident swimmers had to have a mother or a nanny in the pool with them and if the parents would rather they didn’t swim then there were other activities. I would ask Every child thar arrived if they could swim then I would ask the nanny or mother if they child could swim. One child answered yes, her nanny answered yes and then she got into the pool and guess what… she couldn’t swim. Another nanny jumped in fully clothed and pulled her out. I don’t even have words. She was the third guest to arrive. I of course called her mother. The whole incident wasn’t even 5 seconds from when she went in to when she was pulled out but it shook me up!
8 mothers ended up coming with their children and I had nannies in the pool as well and watched the pool with my breath held till it was time for them to get out. The mothers were brilliant and I was so pleased they came as they were telling off kids and getting them out of the pool and supporting me in my attempts to keep the rest of the party incident free.
The second story in my party was when the music started. A friend of mine told me she knew some dancers who lived on her compound and wouldn’t it be great to have them come and do a dance then teach the kids a dance! I said yes! Sounds great! Please make sure the dances are appropriate and not rude. I guess the term not rude is relative. Even J thought they were a bit much. In the grand scheme of things it wasn’t how I would want my daughter to dance. So when the teaching portion came we decided on only a few of the breakdance moves. During the dance a friend of mine came up to me and whispered “I guess this is ‘the story’” and she was right.
The rest of the party was great. We got a DJ who was brilliant and played only appropriate songs which I chose before hand. I cannot tell you the amount of times I am at a kids birthday party and suddenly there are swear words over the loud speaker or worse sometimes (yes says the woman who had raunchy dancers at her daughters birthday party).
The dancing and fun and games that ensued were enough to wipe away (I hope) the trauma of the horrible dancers.
I am writing this on my iPad in my car half way between Riyadh and Damam where I am off with my kiddi pies to have a nice weekend away. We left school early and may be ditching school on Saturday. If you knew me you would know I am positively anal about things like skipping school but I just need to lay in the sun for a bit and do nothing! Now lets see if my hotspot works and I can publish this!