It’s 10 am. My daughter has yet to poo. Did not have time to discuss with her the many complicated reasons why that is. Gave her Metamucil and porridge for breakfast.

11 am. No joy. At hospital visiting my niece who just had her tonsils out. Hoping for a phone call with good news soon.

2.30 pm, J had lunch, a little bit of rice and a lot of mulukhiya. Metamucil did not go down well. Getting different kind of stuff. Niece is better, high on codeine. Not amused by what happened to her today. I assured my sister she will forgive her one day, Flashbacks of J’s codeine haze.

4.24 pm. a watched pot doesn’t boil. J is at her grandparents with her father. Hopefully boiling… or simmering at least.

4.38 pm. nothing…

5.11 pm. still nothing. When should I worry? I’m gonna google it.

5.24 pm. “Also call the doctor if you don’t see the object in your preschooler’s stool in the next couple of days. (One way to check is to put the BM in a strainer and run hot water over it.)” Yuck.

6 pm. Me: J, Why won’t you go to the bathroom?
J: Because then the coin won’t flush
Me: It will flush J
J: You said we can’t put stuff in the toilet cause it won’t flush, the coin won’t flush.
Me: I promise you it will flush
J:But mama you said that..
Me: Ok, So what if it doesn’t flush
J: The toilet will break
Me: We’ll get a new one
J:From where?
Me: the toilet shop
J:And who will bring it
Me: the toilet men, they will take out the old one and bring a new one.
J:But where will they put the old one?
Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

6.30 Dinner time. More rice, and broccoli soup. more weird conversation.
Me: J, Please go to the toilet before bed
J:Ok Mama, I am eating more food so that there is enough poo to push it out.
Me: J, there was enough poo since yesterday! Just go to the toilet!
She drank a glass of Metamucil

7 pm. SUCCESS! Horray! 15 minutes on the toilet and I will spare you the details.
J: Wow, this medicine is good. It’s better than the first one you gave me (which was the exact same thing).
I did not actually see the coin but I am assuming it is there and I have no intention of looking for it. I am giving J a clean bill of health and sending her to school tomorrow.

Alternat ending (for Dentographer):
After we flushed the toilet, we saw something shimmering brightly. Something so beautiful and shiny. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was a solid gold coin. J and I stood there admiring it for a while, and then slowly, I placed my hand on the flush and flushed again because there is nothing out there that would get me to stick my hand (gloved or otherwise) in a toilet bowl :)