S said schmuck today. But with not so much a ‘schm’ sound and more of a ‘fu’ sound. Kill me now… I thought I had time. This is so unfair! I mean yesterday what I was angry at them for saying was ‘this is so unfair’! How did we get to Schmuck! (with an f).

And then J kept repeating it and then she thought he was saying funk and then he apparently announced that he knows the arabic word for it. (I don’t even know what he might be thinking that is!).

A few months ago he said ‘crap’ (but with more of a ‘sh’ sound and ending in ‘it’) in arabic. He said it as part of the punch line of a joke. I had over heard him telling the joke to one of his aunts and said “what did you say?” and he said “nothing” and I said “You said the word for Poo in Arabic” and he said “Nooo mama, I said @%£*$” so it was obvious he had no idea what it meant.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. I thought I had time damn it!

Sugar and Fudge! I remember we once had a nanny who used to say “SUGAR!” if she stubbed her toe or “FUDGE”. I don’t know when I learned the real words for these but could it have been as young at 7?

I told him not to use it, didn’t make a big deal but said my usual “these are the words that unintelligent people use because they don’t have any other words they can use” and “it’s not a word we use or want to use, it is un-islamic and gives people the wrong impression of you. I would not let my child play with someone who uses those words”. I met a woman last summer who said she teaches her kids the equivalent to the swear word they want but in proper (sometimes Shakespearean) English. So she had a little 5-year-old saying things like “That bawdy artless boy was bothering me”. Well, not really, but that is what I imagined when she told me.

So, we play it cool for now… and if he is a repeat offender we what? wash his mouth out with soap?