I have two tabs (amongst many) open in safari that make me laugh.
One with the search phrase: How to move toddler from crib to bed? Another with the search phrase: preparing for university applications.
It’s hilarious that I have children doing both those things at the same time and a little cruel of my memory to make me feel that the former is something I have never done before.
Parenting is not like learning to ride a bike. You don’t master it after practising consistently. I guess it could be like riding one… if you were riding on new terrain every day.
So you learn how to keep balance and how to protect yourself when you fall, how to get back on quickly and recover. But one day you’re in a field, the other on a mountainside, the next in quicksand, then back to the field again.
With the toddler, I’m on bumpy ground, but I’m used to it. Don’t know what bumps are coming up, but I do know how to keep my balance.
With the 16 year old I am on the side of a mountain riding at breakneck speed on a 12-inch ledge praying I’m going in the right direction and that nothing is coming up around the corner. Also, sometimes my helmet drops to cover my eyes, and my breaks work only half the time.
I feel entirely out of my depth in this. It’s one thing to get them to adulthood balanced, well rounded and healthy. It’s a whole other thing to guide a young man in a process I know nothing about. And the more I try to educate myself, the more confused I am.
It’s always about getting too stuck on what I think it “should” look like. They say you have to do 1,2,3 to get to 4. So I fixate on that order forgetting that 2+2 makes 4.
1+3 makes 4.
Hell, even 5-1 makes 4.
I know, God willing, he will find his way in the end. I need to know that and let go. Not get attached to the outcome but trust that it will be what it is supposed to be. And he will be ok.
“Trust and let go” is a tough one for me but it’s one I am working on. I trust then write a detailed manual of how to get from 1 to 4. This time tho, there’s no manual, and I have to sit back and watch the process unfold. It should be fun!
I’d love to hear from anyone with kids in 11th or 12th grade now. How’s it going? Are you ok? Shall we create a support group?
I would especially love to hear from parents of children who’s paths took them a different route than what was planned or expected. We need to hear those stories.