I think there is no better feeling in the world then knowing your children are each in their beds, snuggled up tight after loads of hugs and kisses and ‘I love you”s, fast asleep.

3 days ago I came back from my vacas before the rest of my mini tribe because my grandmother went into hospital. It was a long trip that started at 7 pm on thursday and ended at 9 pm on friday and involved an over night stay at an airport hotel. A hotel that was overly paranoid and suspecting. They would ask questions like “You asked for an adaptor when you arrived last night correct?!” me: “Yes” them: “Where is it!!” Me: “in the room…” Them after quick phone call to housekeeping to check that this was true: “Yes, it is in your room”. Then “did you have anything for the mini bar?” etc etc.

Anyway, back to me leaving. The kids were totally fine about it. J almost made a scene but then thought better of it when her father and I gave her the “no drama” look. S was reading a good book so he said a quick goodbye (first book that seems to have really caught his attention is AGES so praying that he continued to read it). And B was mostly looking to see what J would do and copying her. As for me, I was really worried about my grandmother and emotional but had the thought of seeing Special K after a week of being apart from him that made me smile!

So one night in an airport hotel, one connecting flight through Heathrow London and I was home. I went straight to the hospital when I arrived (snow boots and all) but I wanted to see my grandmother and my big tribe. Special K was already asleep so I would have to wait till the morning to see him. In fact I decided to let him sleep one more night at my sister in law’s house where he was staying because what was the point of him coming home to an empty house. I knew I would be out late at the hospital that night.

That night I came home to an empty house. The energy in the house was… well there was no energy. It was flat. One dimensional. Empty. When the kids are here there is an energy that you can feel when you pass by their rooms when they are sleeping. They are like a breath in the house.A subtle humming. I missed that. I just crawled into bed and slept.

The next night was a bit better because Special K was home but there were still 3 empty rooms.

Today at 1.30 am the rest of our mini tribe ran in the house (well B ran in excited to see me. S and J just kind of shuffled in half asleep but still with hugs and kisses) and I did a little “my babies are back” dance and ushered them to their rooms. I got B ready for bed with all the usual rituals falling back into the routine after our little trip. S and J got ready and in bed and I went to kiss and hug them again before they were totally asleep.

S said “I’m shutting down. I am powering off. I am so sleepy” and I thought how funny! I feel like the house has just been powered up. Switched on and humming like my lap top is humming now. But without the annoying glare of the screen.

My grandmother is getting better thank God and has had a remarkable improvement in the last few days but she is still critical. My sisters are all in town and it’s nice to have them in the same place again. it doesn’t happen often and will probably not last long but it’s bliss when it does happen. I’m going to go snuggle my kids again and take a big whiff of their “children” smell then pour myself into bed and off to sleep!